Lindsay’s Secret Service

When I got the tip a celebs was escorted into Beverly Hill’s Bristol Farm for some safe grocery shopping I got my hopes up and rushed there to expect someone like Maddonna or Oprah, but I should’ve known better. They can afford their very own private security team. Unfortunately, for the recovering drunk and druggie, Lindsay Lohan, 21, isn’t in the same financial boat. The “drama queen” might be running too low on cash these days to hire some security but hey, she’s got the Beverly Hills Police Department on her side! Yeah… who cares about spending tax-payer dollars on city fix-ups when they can be spent securing Lohan’s grocery trip from prying paparazzi. My encounter with Lohan’s secret service wasn’t fun. I arrived right after all the other photographers were forced to leave the parking lot, luckily, I didn’t rush in with the entire “gang” so I patiently waited in the lot for Lohan and her cart to pull up behind my SUV. As soon as she did, I hopped out, after which she asked me, “What are you doing? There’s cops here?” I wasn’t able to quite grasp the tone she said it in because I was much more concerned with the error message on my failing camera! Yes, as soon as I pointed, and shot, my camera froze…and I just walked away. She must have talked to the “po po” cause BHPD was at my truck within sixty seconds. The “po-lice” asked me to step out of the car, patted me down, put my hands behind my back and I waited for the click of the cuffs. Whew. . .It didn’t happen, though. After fifteen minutes of relentless questioning, he let me go. Oh well, that’s “just my luck!”