I didn’t know Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I sent him an email saying, ‘Dear Philip, please do my new film. There’s no money as I spent the entire budget on testicular implants. But don’t think of them as my testicles, think of them as our testicles.’ He loved it, and it worked.
Good one! I just sent a similar letter to Time Warner asking them to forgive my combined phone/internet/cable bill. I hope it works. If it doesn’t, I’ll have no way of letting you know.