Coldplay Victorious in Fight Against Joe Satriani, My Eardrums

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Coldplay vs. Joe Satriani. Quick! Name a fight card featuring two worse musical acts. Pink Floyd vs. Norah Jones? Maybe 311 vs. Jack Johnson? Perhaps Daughtry vs. Jordin Sparks? How about a Battle Royale-style cage match where only one may survive, and then we kill the one who survives?

In case you hadn’t heard, guitar God Joe Satriani filed suit against Coldplay a while back, alleging they lifted the riff to their omnipresent, soporific hit “Viva La Vida” from his comparatively-unheard, also-soporific “If I Could Fly.” Coldplay claimed it was all a coincidence. The case has now been dismissed, and while the details of the case remain sealed, it’s possible that Coldplay may have paid a cash settlement. By the way, the songs do sound similar (because they both sound bad), but here, hear for yourself:

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