“Stephen Baldwin” is the Antonym of “Smart Alec”


Slate has a profile of Stephen Baldwin today – he’s the Baldwin brother who ironically disproves Intelligent Design by being so stupid he negates the possibility of having been created by a wise God. He spoke to the kids at the Value Voter Conference on Friday in Washington. Oy vey. The man is lecturing our nation’s youth. It’s a pity you aren’t real, Jesus Christ, because I hear you can do crazy stuff like see through the back of playing cards and slaughter Indonesians on a whim, and a stroke for Stephen would be really nice right about now. You don’t have to kill the guy – just something affecting his speech. That would be benevolent to everyone.

The article’s interesting for providing a glimpse into what the self-hypnotized religious mind is capable of convincing itself. Sort of like 9/11:

“I believe it’s by the grace of God and God’s perfect will that we’ve all had this success,” he told an audience Friday afternoon, referring to his and his brothers’ careers. “For me, in retrospect, it’s completely understandable that the Lord would use me now with that platform to do his work in these times. I’m very grateful for that opportunity; it’s a privilege.”

Yep, that’s God for you! Choosing Stephen Baldwin as his earthly conduit for keeping gay marriage illegal while letting genocide rage in Darfur. Hey, Stephen, why don’t you ask Christ to throw you a few bucks for all the hard work you’re doing so you can make a mortgage payment?

The piece concludes with the kids in attendance writing a letter to our President:

As the ice cream social winds down, Baldwin and McCullough glance over some of the kids’ letters to the president. “This is a Christian event,” says McCullough, “so anything that doesn’t represent a Christian message or tone, we’re gonna take down.” That appears to be quite a lot of it. While some students wrote long paragraphs arguing against government intrusion or politely explaining why Joe Wilson’s outburst wasn’t racist, some were less genteel: “Dear Loser: UR Health Care plan sucks!” “Obama Lies, Grannie Dies” “BABY KILLER!” Others were more universal: “Obama, I want a PS3.” And my favorite: “Please don’t let I Am Legend to happen.”

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