You Better Start Respecting Christian Slater As the High School Graduate He Just Became

Christian Slater just got his G.E.D. That’s good. This is a rough job market even for college grads.

The just-turned-40 actor never took his high school studies seriously because he was too busy being a rich and famous actor, but now he has kids, and he wants them to have the education he never did. But he doesn’t want them saying, “Why should I have to wake up early for tenth grade? You never learned what World War II is and you’ve been rich and successful your whole life,” so he got the diploma. Now they can only say something like, “Why should I have to wake up early for tenth grade? You didn’t learn how to balance a chemical equation until last week and you’ve been rich and successful your whole life.  By the way, I don’t believe you know how to balance a chemical equation.”