The 50 Most Loathsome Americans, Collated for Your Convenience

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The Buffalo Beast, which bills itself as “The World’s Only Website” and which I had never heard of ’til today, has released its list of the 50 Most Loathsome Americans, and damned if this isn’t the best thing I’ve read all year. That’s right, it’s the best thing I’ve read in 29 days.

Among the usual suspects, the list has the courage to take aim at Michael Jackson:

19. Michael Jackson

Charges: In the media, Jacko’s timely overdose on freaky surgery drugs sparked a whitewash that even his dermatologist thought excessive. Just a friendly reminder, folks: he built an amusement park house to attract children, whom he then got drunk and slept with. Even on the infinitesimal chance he never molested them, that is still creepy as hell. And his music stunk for the last twenty years, because he was crap without Quincy Jones’s beats and Joe Jackson’s beatings.

Brace yourself for the likely tide of Jacko defenders in your comments section, Ian Murphy and Allan Uthman. I know what it’s like to point out MJ’s screamingly obvious pedophilia, and lemme tell you, it offends stupid people.

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