Look at the picture with the other guy in it! It looks like they’re holding hands. A less-scrupulous website would use that picture to fabricate a gay love story but we keep it real on Starzlife, and really, why the hell would Mark Wahlberg be dating that guy? He looks like a tall, dark-haired Chris Colfer. Nice Blackberry holster, Quick Draw MarkDraw. I bet you can get a text off before the other guy hollers yee-hah! Mark Wahlberg walked down the street the other day, either listening to mp3s on his phone or just putting earbuds in so people wouldn’t stop to ask, “Are you Mark Wahlberg?” Starzlife was there.
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