Jessica Alba has very bad friends. . . AND TWINS!!

020208_sl_alba21.JPGOh yes!!  Double the bubble trouble heading our way!!

Yep, her friends blabbed.  The ever-so-trusty National Enquirer is reporting that Jess is not turning into a fat bitch, she’s just preggers with her first set of twins!!  As always, Hollywood feels the need of taking everything to the next level. . .  and Jess must not be outdone!!  She would’ve had triplets, were it not for the sure aftermath of her boobies tickling her toes!!012008_sl_alba04.JPG36669762-jessica_abla.jpgTwins!!

Must make a girl feel so special, having all those people telling on her, exposing her secrets left and right. . .  Dont’cha think?  Really, I’m actually jealous!!  I mean, I know exactly what to expect from my girls – If its a secret, it stays that way.  Period.  So, if I were rich, hot, and famous (but still were me and had my current group of friends), I’d have no way of spreading any false rumors about my possible “twin” pregnancy!!  Therefore, I’d have no social permission to eat lots and lots of chocolate covered blue cheese balls and get really fat during those nine long-ass months!!  Bo-ring!!

So, unless I were actually pregnant with twins, I’d probably have to be one of those dumb yoga mommies who don’t get to enjoy their pregnancy!!

No fair!

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