Amy Winehouse Tearfully Returns to England

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Amy Winehouse finally returned to dreary London this morning from the Caribbean island of St. Lucia that she had been calling her home. She reportedly burst into tears as she arrived at the Gatwick airport in England, but as we learned from Amy “tears dry on their own”.

Winehouse had been in St. Lucia since Christmastime, but overstayed her welcome. Her drunken antics and paparazzi tag-alongs didn’t do much to charm the locals, and now essentially every citizen of the island nation now hates her. I’m sure they all pitched in for her plane ticket home.

Don’t worry, Amy, I would cry to if I had to leave an island paradise because nobody likes your boozing.

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