Bye, Tyra


Aww, damn, girl, just when I was finally learning to accept my wavy hair, The Tyra Show is calling it a wrap. “This will be the last season of The Tyra Show,” Tyra Banks tells People. “Tyra’s soundbite for ending the show is spin. Apparently, the network did not pick up her show,” a poster tells the comment section below the article. I’m so glad I always scroll down to the comments. That’s where to find the real news and jaw-dropping idiocy on a gossip website.

Tyra will now focus her efforts on Bankable Studios, her New York-based film production company. They already have several projects in the pipe. Here’s the current slate:

He Just Don’t Wanna Smash It, Girl: A star-studded  cast brings this ensemble tale of lovelorn urbanites to life. Inspired by Greg Behrendt’s classic dating rulebook, the intersecting stories share a common theme: the futility of forcing romance. If he’s not texting you, or taking your mother to church, or paying for your cognac, he just don’t wanna smash it, girl. Starring Tyra Banks, Keri Hilson, the morbidly obese girl from Precious,  Gabrielle Union, Tia and Tamera Mowry, Viola Davis, Omarion, DMX, Lloyd Banks, Denzel Washington, Omar Epps, and Godfrey.

Solange, See You Later: Solange Knowles stars in this film her dad sold by pitching the title. No story, screenwriter, director or cast is yet attached. Scheduled for a March, 2010 release.

The Cosby Movie – Long-awaited adaptation of the much-beloved sitcom. Chris Tucker‘s modern take on the Cos reinvents Dr. Huxtable as a trash-talking, rap-loving, love-’em-and-leave-’em serial philanderer. Catchphrases such as, “Bitch, bring beer” and “Fuck education” are sure to be repeated endlessly on schoolyards nationwide.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Heidi vs. Spencer: You know, ’cause black folk love horror movies where white people die.

Nice knowin’ ya, Tyra. Let’s remember the good times, like when I wrote this really funny post.

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