Tween Star Gets One Year Closer to Being Shunned by Disney

Selena Gomez Wizards of Waverly Place Disney

Happy Birthday, Selena Gomez!

Little miss bobblehead Selena is the tween star of Disney show The Wizards of Waverly Place and has been linked to other dreamy teen stars Nick Jonas and Taylor Lautner. That’s about  all she’s done, because she is only turning 17, which means she was born in 1992, which means I am freaking old.

Thanks for making us all feel like crap, Selena. Happy effing birthday, you zygote.

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