Lohan Family to Michael: “Forget Jon Gosselin, You’re Supposed to Ruin Our Lives”


When we last checked in, Jon Gosselin, da dopest pimp on da block, was getting all tight with Michael Lohan, da dopiest simp in da solar system. Now the Lohans, for not the first time, are saying, “Hey, remember us, you dumb predicate felon?” and “Where the hell is my goddamn child support?” To be fair, I don’t know that that’s what they said verbatim. I’m just assuming that’s how Ali Lohan talks.

“Michael is six months behind in child support. Over $12,000 is due, and it’s in the hands of collections now” says a source to People. In that case, you’d think the Lohans would applaud their thieving, stock-frauding father sidling up to this patsy. He’s straight-up down with with Christian Audigier. I’m sure Michael can charm his way onto that frog’s yacht, get his sticky fingers on a bunch of Ed Hardy bandanas, and sell those stylin’ rags on Ebay for like $30. And that’s 30 more than 0.

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