Heidi Montag Realizes Career Is Dead; Talks Plastic Surgery

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Failed “singer” and made-of-silicone Hills star, Heidi Montag is opening up about the plastic surgery that had her going from MF fugly to just fugly.

Montag, who desperately bares all in the September issue of Playboy, tells readers that not only is her body full of silicone, she’s also a savvy shopper:

When I was shopping for my boobs, I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys.”

But, wait. If you thought the talentless Republican was happy with her purchases, then you’re wrong! The born-again christian with store-bought boobs wants to have more surgery!

I plan to get a few more upgrades … I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups.

Why all the surgery? Turns out hellacious Heidi thinks that her equally brain-dead husband might like looking at plastic titties! Explains Heidi:

I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer].

Ain’t love grand? Excuse us while we rush to the bathroom to puke.

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