Thou Shall Better Believe This: Madonna Will Marry Baby Jesus


Holy mother of Lourdes, Mercy, David and Rocco!

It is being rumored that Marys’s Madonna’s boy-child slash boyfriend slash payroll babe, Baby Jesus Luz, is soon to become Mrs. Madonna Louise Ciccone’s Number Three.

Oh Lord, can these holy nuptials be true?

According to Madonna biographer J. Randy Taraborrelli, yes!  As told to Britain’s Independent newspaper on Monday:

“The pop queen has been dating Jesus since January and it is thought the pair may marry before the end of the year.  Madonna is crazy about Jesus and has been telling close friends and family that she could definitely see herself marrying him. Yes, it’s definitely on the table.”

Hallelujah, (that’s הַלְּלוּיָהּ to Madge), because we’ve seen the Lord!  And if our spies tell us right, he’s hung like a holy horse.

The two met in January on the set of a sexxxy W Magazine shoot, and have been doing the sixty-eight plus one ever since.  Haters have mocked the age difference between the 51 year old Spiritual Seeking Trillionaire and the 22 year old cherub – but we love him!

If the Material Mum of four can score a holy alliance with the biblical babe, Halle-f**ken-lujah!  We can’t wait to see what she has to say on Letterman tonight!

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