G.I. Joe Won’t Be Screened By Critics, Probably Sucks

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Knowing is half the battle, so Paramount Pictures is trying to prevent critics from telling audiences about the potentially crappy G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra.

Traditionally, studios have a special early screening of a film to allow critics enough time to write a review before the movie opens. Paramount is not doing that for G.I. Joe though, meaning they probably expect critics will hate it.

“After the chasm we experienced with Transformers 2 between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote G.I. Joe. We want audiences to define this film,” Rob Moore, vice Chairman of Paramount, told AP.

In other words, “Hey, we know audiences love stuff blowing up and stuff from their childhood. Critics are always searching for a coherent plot, good acting, and intelligent dialogue. Let’s not have critics try and force their opinions on the explosions+childhood toy movie genre.”

I’m waiting for Rock’em Sock’em Robots: Rise of the Red Robot to come out next Summer.

G.I. Joe stars Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Marlon Wayans, and opens this Friday.

You know what though? I’ll probably end up seeing it. It’s got explosions and things I remember from when I was a kid.

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