Elton John Wants to Adopt a Baby But May Be Too Old and Too Gay To Do So

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Elton John and his partner David Furnish want to adopt a baby boy they spotted at a Ukrainian orphanage over the weekend, but may be barred from doing so. Elton was giving a charity concert at the orphanage for children affected by AIDS and his stone cold heart was melted by the angelic child, and like a diamond studded pair of glasses, he had to have him.

Talks of Elton and his partner adopting the 14-month old Lev came to a halt because by Ukrainian law, adoptive parents must be only 45 years older than the adoptive child, and be married. Elton and Furnish are 62 and 46 respectively, and although they are united in a civil union, they are not ‘traditionally’ married’

If Elton wants this damn baby he’s gonna have to fight for it- he would need to bring his case straight to the Ukrainian president Viktor Yushchenko. Somehow I think a little “Crocodile Rock” followed by “Benny and the Jets” at the Presidential Palace, and this baby is his.

Elton had not wanted to adopt because of his age, but was warmed by Lev’s little face.  He said, “I’ve changed my mind today. He’s such a scrumptious thing, bless his heart.” Scrumptious?? Oh dear- does Elton want to eat the baby? DON’T LET HIM ADOPT! HE WILL EAT THE BABY!

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