You know, ’cause you have to buy a ticket to Disneyland to see it.
Now that Michael Jackson has been completely absolved of his serial child molestation by simply dying, Disneyland is bringing back his 3D space jam, Captain EO! If you missed it, Captain EO, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, is the story of its titular captain “and the ragtag crew of his spaceship on a mission to deliver a gift to a wicked alien leader, the Witch Queen, on her home world of rotting, twisted metal and steaming vents.” Other stuff happens, but I don’t feel like cutting and pasting the entire plot synopsis from Wikipedia, where I also learned that the current version doesn’t include any “in-theater laser or starfield effects.” So bring your laser pointers and wave ’em around at random! You’ll only be adding to the magic. As for starfield effects, if you’re an adult at Disneyland, you should be tripping on shrooms regardless, so just settle for the pulsating geometric patterns everything will be covered in.