Litigant Won’t Be Getting 120 Million from the One Jackson Who Actually Has It, Janet


If you attempt to kiss Janet Jackson and you’re not Jermaine Dupri, don’t you deserve to get clocked by her bodyguards? I just realized from typing that sentence that Janet Jackson has both a boyfriend AND brother named “Jermaine.” I wonder if Jermaine Jackson’s son will ever hear someone say, “I can’t date you, my brother is named Jermajesty. That’s just too weird.”

E! reports that the “years old” 120 million dollar lawsuit against Janet for having bodyguards that do their job has been dismissed. Plaintiff Leonard Salati’s claimed that Janet’s big, black bodyguard put him in a headlock. The problem: Janet has a big, Hispanic bodyguard. Aw, Leonard. 98 times out of 100 you would have guessed correctly. But every 2 out of 100 times the guy’s going to be Hispanic or Israeli. Better luck next time – maybe you really will get beaten down by a brother on the Jackson’s payroll. Hold on to hope.

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