Jessica Simpson is the New Ashlee Simpson


Poor Jessica Simpson. Reports People, “She feels she’s being judged by the world and opts to hide out at home,” says a Simpson family friend who either can’t keep their mouth shut or isn’t actually a friend at all. “The family feels bad for Jessica. They worry for her a lot.”

“The family used to have such faith in [Jessica] and they worried about Ashlee,” continues the big-mouthed friend. “Now they are fully confident in Ashlee’s choices and they worry most of their days about Jessica. It seems she just can’t catch a break.”

I’m sorry, Ashlee Simpson’s made good life choices?

She had a nose job rendering her completely unrecognizable to her former self, got a horrible tattoo of an ugly flower on her wrist, released an unsuccessful, uninteresting album, got pregnant while only 23 years old while not married and is now starring on a remake of a 90s show that wasn’t that good to begin with.

Yeah, Jess, why can’t you be more like your little sister?

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