David Copperfield: Not a Rapist


Score, David Copperfield! I knew you didn’t rape that chick on your private island! You don’t need to use force to get laid; that’s what the magic tricks are for.

Two years after being accused of whisking an audience member away to his personal Bahamian island to rape her with a little privacy, the entire case has been dropped without a charge being filed.

The US Attorney’s Office in Seattle said the decision “should not be perceived as a comment on guilt or innocence.”

Oh, no? So they think David did it and declined to press charges? Did he offer to walk through a wall at every US Attorney’s Office employee’s kid’s birthday party? Totally fair trade.

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