There is absolutely no chance Charlie Sheen will ever return to Two-and-a-Half Men on CBS.
Besides the fact that Chuck Lorre publicly despises Sheen, he’s being written off the show as dead, and there will be a burial.
According to a source, the shows will center around his funeral and the sale of his Malibu beach house.
Sheen’s replacement, Ashton Kutcher, is thought to be the one who buys and moves in to the beach house, and allows sheen’s brother and nephew to continue to live there with him.
So Charlie won’t be coming back, unless the show turns into a zombie movie at least.
Two And A Half Men returns on September 19th, the same night as Sheen’s roast on Comedy Central.