Lady GaGa Felt She Needed to Clarify How Gay Her Schtick Is


Lady GaGa will soon begin a co-headlining tour with Kanye West. While it may seem that the target audience for such a pairing would be people who don’t really like music that much, GaGa has made it abundantly clear to Kanye that her following is super-gay and that she won’t tone it down for Kanye‘s not gay/less gay fans:

“I just want to be clear before we decide to do this together: I’m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love that it’s gay. And I love my gay fans and they’re all going to be coming to our show. And it’s going to remain gay.”

Where to begin? How about: Lady GaGa is not gay. She claims to be bisexual, but so did 20 of the girls in my senior class, and 19 of them now exclusively date men. (The 20th girl is a lesbian.) Second, she knows Kanye can see through those shutter shades, right? When you wear ornamental plastic bubbles on your head, it’s safe to assume you’re courting Scissor Sisters fans. Also, when you perform on television to an audience of high-pitched shrieks and the camera then pans to reveal an audience of single, 30-something men, your fanbase’s reputation will precede you. “Fan of GaGa” may as well supplant “Friend of Dorothy” at this point.

By the way, GaGa fans, I hope you enjoy listening to Kanye’s auto-tuned songs about his Mom’s death as you walk out of the theater hoping your crystal meth dealer isn’t driving out to Barstow for a re-up.

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