You Can Rest Easy and Let Your Kids Play Outside Now That Redmond O’Neal is Back in Jail

People Redmond O'Neal

Redmond O’Neal has been sent back to jail for violating his probation on a drug-related charge.

God damn it. Legalize all drugs, now. Do you, dear Starzlife reader, feel any safer knowing that your tax dollars are being used to incarcerate Farrah Fawcett’s dumb son? It’s immoral to imprison people for exercising their right to ingest substances that make them feel good. More importantly, it’s inconvenient for me to buy nasal decongestant at Rite-Aid now that I have to ask the guy behind the counter for it, hand over my ID, and sign a digital notepad. It’s like picking up a package from FedEx, except sometimes when I do that I’m actually getting something I can use to get high. (I have a friend in Nepal send me a “care package” twice a year.) How much methamphetamine do you think I’m going to synthesize from 10 tablets of Sudafed? You need a shipping crate worth of the stuff to even attempt!

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