Daaaamn, girl, sistas is MAD HEATED at the editors of Essense for putting Reggie Bush on the cover of their “Black Men, Love & Relationships” issue. You see, Reggie Bush isn’t dating a black girl. He’s dating Kim Kardashian, who, for some reason, Essence readers think is white. Kim Kardashian is not white. She’s middle […]
You Can Rest Easy and Let Your Kids Play Outside Now That Redmond O’Neal is Back in Jail
Redmond O’Neal has been sent back to jail for violating his probation on a drug-related charge. God damn it. Legalize all drugs, now. Do you, dear Starzlife reader, feel any safer knowing that your tax dollars are being used to incarcerate Farrah Fawcett’s dumb son? It’s immoral to imprison people for exercising their right to […]
Angelyne Wants to Sample Puff Daddy’s Wealth
Bad Boy Films, which sounds like a producer of poor quality gay porn but is actually Puff Daddy‘s film studio, is being sued by Angelyne. If you don’t know who Angelyne is, you’re either not from Los Angeles or you are but have never been outside and looked up. She’s this 700-year-old shriveled pink-Corvette-driving barely-breathing […]
Paris Remembers Casey Johnson
Paris Hilton, fellow socialite and long time friend of the Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson, who was found dead yesterday, released the following to Life & Style regarding her friends death; “I am devastated to hear this news. I’ve known Casey since I was a baby. She had a big heart and she was […]
Wizard’s Arenas in Deep Following Gun Drama
Kinda fitting considering he plays for a team that used to be called the Washington Bullets, but Gilbert Arenas is in some deep doo-doo over the guns found in his locker. After a Christmas day scuffle in the locker room that lead him and a teammate to draw guns on one another, Arenas has his […]
“Tik Tok”‘s Chorus Clobbers Ke$ha
I debated titling this post “Ke$ha on Ellen (No Homo)” but that joke’s getting a little played, so I’ll only use it every now and then for the rest of my life. Someone uploaded Ke$ha‘s album to a private torrent tracker that SWIM is a member of and it was tagged with “pop” “hip hop” […]
Russell and Katy Get Engaged on India Trip!
Us Weekly is reporting that during a recent trip to India, Russell Brand and Katy Perry officially gotten engaged! The source claims that as his Christmas gift to the singer, Brand planned a trip to India where the couple could spend the holiday, and he could ultimately pop the question. Russell and Katy have been […]
Where does Tila Tequila Get Her News From?
The person surely to be the most dramatically devastated over the death of her fiance, Casey Johnson, is Tila Tequila. After the shocking news broke that the Jonson & Johnson heiress had been found dead last night, Tila took to her Twitter page. Because where else would you turn in this situation? Tila first tweeted; […]
Thank God For Abortions! Heidi Fleiss Feels That Way, Too
People say abortion should be safe, legal, and rare. I say: if something is safe and legal, why do you care how much it happens? I don’t care how often you register for the draft! In fact, if you’re young, uneducated, and too broke to support anyone who might depend on you, I hope you […]
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Adam Carolla Pilot Cleared For Take-Off
Fall back, naysayers: the NBC sitcom isn’t dead. Thursday nights are back in full force and now Adam Carolla has a pilot in the pipeline. The Hollywood Reporter reports that NBC has picked up a pilot pitch from Carolla, co-written with Kevin Hench, about a contractor rebuilding his life after a divorce. Thank you, Hollywood […]